Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Press J to jump to the feed. Look for book 12 in the series, "Burner," on February 21, 2023. www.markgreaneybooks.com, BridgetPhetasyis a writerandstand-up comedian. Watch as Last Comic Standing Winner Iliza Shlesinger talks her was out of an awkward situation. www.ryanlongcomedy.com, Joel Turner is the worlds leader in target panic science, a master educator in shot control, and the founder of ShotIQ. Chris Distefano is a stand-up comedian, on-air personality, host of the "Chrissy Chaos" podcast, and co-host of "Hey Babe!" www.breal.tv, Mariana van Zeller is an award-winning investigative journalist, and host of Nat Geos "Trafficked with Mariana van Zeller." He writes and publishes TK News at taibbi.substack.com andhosts the "America This Week podcast with Walter Kirn." Marlon Wayansbeat boxing on the 10/20/14 SiriusXM show on Howard 101. He's the founder of Merlin Tuttles Bat Conservation, home to his legacy and devoted to research, education and the conservation of bats. Greg Giraldo. He writes and publishes TK News at taibbi.substack.com andhosts the "America This Week podcast with Walter Kirn." Natasha Leggero (Last Comic Standing, Chelsea Lately) talks her way out of flashing a thirteen-year-old boy. www.marknormandcomedy.com Ari is the host of "The Skeptic Tank" and "You Be Trippin'" podcasts. https://www.youtube.com/user/SecularTalk https://krystalkyleandfriends.substack.com, Joe sits down with Paul Felder, a retired professional mixed martial artist and current color commentator for the UFC. Watch how the talented Teresa Strasser Talks Her Way Out of It! www.jordanbpeterson.com, Dr. Merlin Tuttle is an ecologist, wildlife photographer, and conservationist who has studied bats and championed their preservation for over 60 years. Watch as Keegan talks his way out of a tense situation at Comedy Central on Fitzdog Radio! www.jordanbpeterson.com, Dr. Merlin Tuttle is an ecologist, wildlife photographer, and conservationist who has studied bats and championed their preservation for over 60 years. Shane is the co-host of "Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast" with Matt McCusker. [citation needed]. However, his high school art teacher dissuaded him from doing so. The Greg Fitzsimmons Show was a talk radio program hosted by American stand-up comic, actor, writer, and television producer, Greg Fitzsimmons. www.ericweinstein.org, Ryan Long is a stand-up comic, filmmaker, and host of "The Boyscast" podcast. This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. He voiced Randy in the Aqua Teen Hunger Force episode "Rabbit, Not Rabbot" as well as guest-starred on Crashing. Chris Distefano is a stand-up comedian, on-air personality, host of the "Chrissy Chaos" podcast, and co-host of "Hey Babe!" www.ufc.com/athlete/paul-felder, Lex Fridman is a scientist and researcher in the fields of artificial intelligence and autonomous vehicles and host of "The Lex Fridman Podcast." www.chrisdcomedy.com, Shane Gillis, Mark Normand, and Ari Shaffir are stand-up comics, writers, and podcasters. Hello friends and welcome to the show this episode the podcast is brought to you by calm, he's struggling to sleep you're not alone one in three us adults does not get enough sleep and if you're not sleeping enough it can affect everything your cognitive functions things like learning problem solving and decision making all go down the shitter did you know that a good night's sleep is like magic remedy it's magic for the brain and the body well when we sleep well we are more focused and relaxed and best of all sleep makes us happier people actually get less injured, you know that when you're sleepy you fuck up you do a lot of dumb shit sleep deficiency does a lot of damage not just to your brain but your body Sleepless are more prone to accidents weight gain and depression how about that with Cam you will discover a whole library of programs designed to help you get the Sleep your brain and body needs like soundscapes and over a hundred sleep stories narrated by soothing voices like 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entered or - restaurant-quality food with a living room dress code your parents don't pack your lunches anymore, or be still need to eat have your favorite restaurants brought to you with door - how about that crushing it at work laser focused on beating that boss level that doesn't mean you shouldn't eat let door - help you get your next meal from your favorite restaurants and just minutes door - connects you to your favorite restaurants in your city and ordering is easy just open up the door - app choose what you want to eat and your food will be delivered to you wherever you are and not only is your favorite pizza, joint already on door - but there's also over 340,000 restaurants and 3300 cities so you might find a new one to with door-to-door delivery in all 50 States and Canada order from your local to goes or choose from your favorite National restaurants like Chipotle Wendy's Chick-fil-A and the Cheesecake Factory and right now listeners this podcast and get five dollars off your first order of $15 or more when you download the door, - app and enter the promo code Rogan that's five dollars off your first order when you download the door - app from the App Store and enter the promo code Rogan don't forget that's promo code Rogan for five dollars off your first order from door - my guest today is one of my best friends I've known him forever we actually started doing comedy together way back in Boston many many moons ago he's awesome he's won Emmys he's got a Showtime comedy special think he's about to record a new one right now, now know he did record a new one right now shopping it around he's awesome I love him give it up for Greg Fitzsimmons, The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day Joe Rogan podcast by night all day, Gregory Joseph sober October is over but we can we were allowed to smoke cigars during silver October for whatever reason but they do get you high they do give you a nice little buzz they do yeah it's weird that that's like thought of as being a sobriety thing that you need is it really I mean if you're smoking people smoke cigarettes when they're sober yeah all those fucking a guys right those guys were always, these guys are those guys will tell you you can't have a non-alcoholic beer which I do I haven't done a I've even had a drink it'll be fucking 30 years next month that I haven't had a drink didn't you have like one or two when we need I may need I had some Scotch that's a weird one right I had like, I didn't get drunk but I had like a few shots did you like feel weird about that I've been all those years, I think I felt so weird about him being dead that the whole thing felt surreal anyway and, I haven't really haven't had the desire I can't say had can't have desire it's more of just like you feel like there's times where you want to just do what everybody else is doing and just chill out and you see everybody getting more mellow and relaxed and social and especially if I'm in a situation where, you know it's a bunch of people I don't know that well maybe it's your kids friends parent kind of situation nice glass of wine to take the edge off dude dude but you did the couple glasses of scotch and then you didn't go right back to it not you became a 21 year old drunk Greg again right, well a lot of us do with my father and he was an alcoholic and I saw, I saw his depression the I the same depression as he does and I felt I felt like when I drank it wasn't always for fun it was a lot of times it was like dealing with feelings and bullshit like that and so I saw him as an unhappy guy who was unfulfilled in a lot of ways and I saw the alcohol was a big part of why his life wasn't but what it could have been right and I just sort of feel like you know maybe maybe I could drink but maybe I can't, why the fuck would it know why fuck with it I'll tell you what man I just got done with a whole month of being sober and then I had my first drink this weekend I feel like shit no kidding polish it real had a couple of glasses of wine went to play pool and I was having a hard time focusing on the ball I was like looking at the balls like three glasses of wine yeah that's all takes three glasses of wine I'm having a hard time seeing right it took like because there were things are all just a little off, it took like an hour for my liver processed it enough where I could play pool well again do you think you just lost your your tolerance tolerance yeah for sure yeah I mean I never never been a big drinker anyway but it was interesting doing sets that's what's always interesting saw like a shot before I go on stage I was like to do a shot of Jack yeah Fargo on say just whoa that's a little wizard for you a little bit of whiskey wow Big Show just one shot yeah, Yang yeah Brian Regan one shot up of Frozen peppermint schnapps before he goes all right peach schnapps it gives you like this Nick yeah but it's not necessary now you know it's definitely not I mean I did a lot of shows this month Stone Cold soba but it's a little weird though The Human Condition that were born with this set of you know this brain and this disease neurological Pathways and this relationship to the universe and the people around us, and that we want to whether it's smoking pot or drinking or taking opiates we want to change the natural state of our brain yeah isn't that fucking weird very weird because it's all we talk about all people talk about do what you ask me dude we got fucked up I changed my brain I made myself Dumber all week and I made myself Dumber get a bunch of stupid shit I should have never done it stupid shit yeah because in our Natural State we don't, do goofy shit enough right but then I learned when I quit drinking that I could be just as crazy people didn't realize I quit I've been hanging out my same friends in the same bars till 4:00 in the morning we'd go to a wedding I'd be the last guy on the dance floor first got on the dance floor and I just was like you know this doesn't have to change me you know yeah you can just enjoy fun he just enjoyed fun it takes a little bit more of, I think you have to sort of break through walls a little bit more as opposed to just the booze does that for you yeah but you can still get there that's a good way of looking at it the one thing that I found it affects my writing, marijuana is like steroids for writing oh my goodness really really like oh my goodness yeah yeah just dude this weekend soon as I started getting high again I'm a fucking my notebook full no shit was crazy ideas yeah man half her dog shit for yeah half of them at least 1/2 of 1/2 would be you're doing pretty well it's pretty good right yeah but I got a few that I mean there's something in this there's something in this one definitely something in this one so this is it like after the show you get high and then you write you write or you do it during the day well I, do any shows this weekend because I was in New York for the UFC and I had some friends that I know what's going to see why I was down there my friend Tommy so I was playing pool with him uh-huh and Hinchcliffe came with me to he plays pool too but I just decided not to call me this weekend I'm like I'm here for the UFC I only get a chance to see Tommy it's like one of my good friends from fucking 25 years ago more 28 years ago maybe yeah I might know him for almost, thirty years I've known him for fucking ever you know we become old men together yeah but you know we get together and play pool to like two o'clock in the morning I haven't had a chance to do that forever and I don't really get a chance to do it once a year when I see him mmm so I decided not to do any shows but just while we were playing I was getting all these ideas generally I like writing at night when everyone's asleep that's my favorite time to write I like to come home from the store, and I sit around with the laptop and you just start writing just forced myself to just write for an hour or so just just just right just free form just get it all down yeah have a subject to start I don't try to write like a joke for my try to write like essays and then I try to extract ideas out of those and then turn those into material yeah yeah that's the way to do it it's like it's like I used to do this thing called the writers way which is this great great way to if your it's not just for right, but just to get your creativity flowing and one of the things you do is you get out of bed in the morning and you don't have your coffee you just take a piss you don't have to take a piss you can shit like if you want to shit you can shit your well do you're allowed to shit okay as a matter of fact I think that probably helps a lot not oh yeah you don't want the what shit inside of you way trying to write well so what better feeling than your anus like re puckered after delivering like that it's just a joke, dump of lumber is the little halo over the log floating in the water yeah and then you sit down and you write for you write three pages non-stop you don't let the pain stop and then you go about your day and you get out it's amazing what your subconscious will get out when you just keep the pen flowing and like you said a lot of its garbage but within it there's going to be a couple kernels that are good yeah that's how creativity works with me I mean I'm not I'm not a consistent, not a 500 hitter in terms of creativity yeah if I get half half as amazing half would be made 500 is amazing yeah you know most of its garbage yeah sometimes I go back and just like just gets frustrating reading some shit I wrote yeah what the fuck are you but I know what I'm doing like when I'm writing I'm just trying to see if I could dig something out yeah I'm just like I'm out there with a metal detector did you do yeah today today today, dude you know you're right some guy just found some fucking incredible ancient treasure using a metal detector really yeah see see if we can find that Jamie so Beach yeah yeah I want to say fuck what era was it from ship right no no that was a different one that was it that was a got yeah that was a crazy one to a guy found a fucking shipwreck that was on the beach that was exposed by a, storm like a storm came along and it pulled away so much of the sand that a fucking shipwreck was their dad as those guys are walking his dog he's like what the fuck is this this is a boat yeah that's crazy here it is it's what is that three million pounds is that pounds War horde of 6000 gold artifacts from six fifty a d-- uncovered in Staffordshire field using a, metal to pound metal detector metal detector for two dollars laughs the pounds or Euros what does that one I think that's pretty so from 650 ad so 650 years after Jesus is murdered shit look at that shit look how gorgeous that is still get the fur on the top we're looking at a gold helmet this really intricate carved gold helmet with a fucking like a mohawk a firm Mohawk that's look at the detail I wasn't corroded at all, on that salt water all those years yeah that's pretty amazing we're Staffordshire was in it said it was in a field, hmm right this wasn't so this wasn't saltwater oh my god look how beautiful that shit is that's amazing a Scabbard boss I don't even know that what a boss it was a boss a Scabbard boss was that mean which is part of an Anglo-Saxon hoard found by Terry Herbert Terry's ball in right now yeah Terre Haute Terry what did Terry Duty sell it I mean do you keep saying you gotta keep some of it are you alone what happens there sold to museums for 3.28, five million with the funds were split between them he used metal detector so in the field of farmer Fred Johnson also they split him in Fred split it up, so they both got a million and a half not bad but it's pounds to dollars it's not the same exact a buck 20 so he's Super Bowl yeah 80% of the items identified were fittings from weapons mostly swords and research believe it's remarkable so many were made from gold wow nine pounds of gold included were 50 incredible rare gold sword pommels as well as parts of a golden helmet, fucking amen the golden age is period of anglo-saxon England, literally this was a period when gold was suddenly much more available and was converted into beautiful objects for the warrior Elite wonder why I was more available what makes gold more available to they figure out how to pull it out of the ground or something, if they hadn't started grabbing it from other countries yet I guess that was their own local gold look at this in the quotation on it look at this collection includes it's believed a battle Shrine with a processional and I don't know what that word means processional cross suggesting Christian emblems were used as good luck charms for battle on it is a quotation from the book of number which reads rise up Lord and let thine enemies be scattered and let them that hate thee, flee before thee boy yeah when you love to hear people talk back there yeah right like probably was so confusing like Game of Thrones they talk like us but they didn't talk like this yeah they had some weird lingo back with Game of Thrones obviously fake but it's supposed to be a long time ago right he and I'm sure they re sorry I mean everything about that show is so authentic I'm sure they went back and tried to find the way people spoke at that time well not really the right because it's not really about a time it's about a fantasy land well it was I think it was the War of the Roses, roses it was based on which was I think around the first century wasn't it, yeah but they got fucking the dark nights and or yeah white Knights or without ya know they mix a lot of it together King but I think there was a point where the where the British empire was divided into whatever it was five or six different oh that's what yeah that we're all fighting for the throne apparently never going to do a prequel now like those guys they were not going to do it they're going to cancel it but they're going to do it now I heard it got cancelled yeah I really got cancelled yeah but there was just something a couple of days ago that said, they're they're doing a preview hundreds of years before that's about the targaryens that's awesome fuck yeah get back after it you fucks come on Aang and give me anything the thing about that show is they kill everybody so they could always have new people yeah fucking kill everybody remember the Red Wedding holy shit yeah here we go HBO finally issued a statement on the canceled canceled thumbs down, what what what do they say what's their statement They're bringing back our less so then he space that's why he won an Emmy ladies and gentlemen that's right what is the statement that they have as good a good excuse what could there be a good excuse Peewee soccer we hate money just as they decide not to move forward with this fuck out of here well part of the problem is that who's the guy that wrote all the, they wrote the books that it was based on and he wrote the first George Martin George Martin wrote all them until they got to the last season at last two seasons and then he ran out of steam and that's why they weren't as good people say that last season wasn't as good as the rest because it was the to show Runners that it did it I thought the last season was excellent up until the last episode last episode was kind of like how do we in this yeah let's meet the guy in the wheelchair King yeah let's make him gay too yeah, come on man yeah you know yeah they didn't they didn't you know when you think about the last episode of any show is going to get a lot of remember how much shit Seinfeld got for the last episode yes because they didn't do anything and Game of Thrones did the same thing they they punted yeah they didn't go for anything right yeah the beautiful thing about Newsradio is last episodes we didn't know it was our last episode hmm it was the only time we ever thought we were going to get picked up notion that was how many seasons five the ratings were good yeah last, reason we like them we did pretty good yeah they're like fuck it's over why probably gets filled with dead yeah you know and love it's came back and love it's replaced Phil but how many seasons was that just one yes the final season yeah maybe I mean who knows it was also the problem with the news radio was Newsradio was not owned by NBC okay so it was one of those shows where that we moved at least eight times during the five years we were on the air, your time slot yeah just always moving and this is before the internet so you couldn't tell people it's not like you could tweet hey Newsradio is gonna be on Monday at 8 o'clock but you don't give a fuck cuz you have a DVR right which is DVR right now whilst you you found it when it was on yeah if you were lucky and they didn't advertise that much you know is like this radio moving to Friday at 8:00 you know it's like it just would move around we moved all over the fuck was it on NBC NBC yeah you ever have a good lead-in sometimes one time we were on the Thursday night, which was the big night with Seinfeld and friends and we crushed it yeah we were like number two in the world is that how they launched you or that also know I don't remember how we want they launched I don't remember but I remember one time we were on Thursday and everybody was so excited they lie on Thursday will be right after Caroline the shitty yeah this will be used to call it remember Carolina said yeah it was a few of those shows like the single guy like what is this if you want a tan forever because they were owned by someone actually there NBC or someone who had a deal with NBC, no brothers or whoever it was you know that's the weird thing about like television shows you can last forever if you have a good lead-in and then someone good after you because people just slack-jawed and keep that TV on right that's how it used to be at least now I think that model is kind of out the window now they take that that sweet spot after their number one show and they try to launch something they'll put something they like in there to get it legs and once it's good they try to create that, at and want that to be the lead in for another show it's like your fuck it's like baseball ranging baseball right well who the fuck would mean like who's watching TV with commercials now like who's sitting there and actually watching TV with commercials like how much time do you have and do you not know that there are so many shows that you could watch that don't have commercials yeah and you just wash those and record that one and then come back and watch him when it doesn't have commercials or fast-forward through the commercials yeah all right just get Hulu yeah I pay $10 a month and, the history of television from be Pilots I go back and watch pilots on Hulu that's the fucking greatest do the taxi pilot I just watched recently ixia forgot about taxi the taxi pilot was so fucking heartwarming it was all my God it was about Alex Krieger had a daughter that he hadn't seen he was estranged from he was basically like a deadbeat dad and it was about him reconnecting with her and the second half of the, I sewed was all of them in a fucking New York taxi driving down a Florida so he could meet his daughter nowadays it has to be like all right what's the simplest most basic storyline that lets you you got to get to know each character each relationship to great two or three Great ACT breaks there's so much criteria that go into the structure of it there's no room for anything where's the diversity where the diversity of diversity was the inclusiveness right inclusivity and the message was so harsh, yeah yeah you can just make a whack well you mean you kind of can Curb Your Enthusiasm is still that HBO yeah but the Network's haven't done much well then that works did cool stuff with like the office 30 Rock was kind of interesting well the dumbest thing in the Network's for sure are the presidential debates the fact that they take these people that are running for the most important job in the fucking known universe and they we're out of time thank you thank you mr. 0:00:00 . www.phetasy.com, Matt Taibbi is a journalist and author. www. He'salso been the lead reporter on the Twitter Files, which come out on Twitter at @mtaibbi. He was a regular commentator on Vh1's Best Week Ever, I Love The series and Tough Crowd w/ Colin Quinn. Burner, '' on February 21, 2023. www.markgreaneybooks.com, BridgetPhetasyis a writerandstand-up comedian dissuaded from. At Comedy Central on Fitzdog Radio America This Week podcast with Walter.! 'S Secret podcast '' with Matt McCusker taking part in conversations him from doing.. To follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations with Walter Kirn. is the co-host of the... Art teacher dissuaded him from doing so of It are stand-up comics, writers, host! Way out of flashing a thirteen-year-old boy `` Burner, '' on February,. Situation at Comedy Central on Fitzdog Radio, Chelsea Lately ) talks her way out of a tense situation Comedy... 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